thoughts about bed sheets
(This one is more of a string of thoughts, hope everyone is taking care of themselves!)
Cotton and linen to last me for a lifetime, several lifetimes over.
I couldn't believe the sun still beat my heart alive again that day.
How many years ago?
"You're home."
7 years ago now.
What happened before that?
Messy, dirty, exhausted, endless, rough, broken.
How many years ago?
11 years ago.
Jump forward.
New light, the most beautiful window possible, gosh, it was the most angelic thing. it was cold to the touch, impossibly so, it was impossible.but...it was orange too, this hint of amber, it was like stained glass, a definite unobtainable dream, but a dream realized nonetheless.
cold.
7 years ago again.
Jump forward.
Hateful, something turned to hate, something so holy made to be desecrated
"Your body is a temple"
why did you ruin it.?
3 years ago.
move around now.
Air mattress, empty hallway, his two dogs, that cyclical fan inspiring the fate of the future. total darkness. he fell out of the bed.
get back up again.
6 years ago now.
where to next?
sunken teeth, deep into skin. please.
the room wasn't even possible then.
??? years ago.
Next up:
must have gotten my blood on the bed sheets, and let it linger for a lifetime after.
8 years ago.
Continuing
leaves on the ground, that silly industrial zone across the street, that giant, monumental radio tower, so so so so so high into the sky it went, a shadow cast for several centuries, from now and eternity. Its stature was something like a reminder to me, that when its heart shone red again, it was still alive, and i was too. sometimes i see it when i pass by, when i'm in my hometown again. home?
does it hurt? does it feel good? i imagine what it would be like, to survey everything..
so small, slept upside down.
and in time, the washer finally made it something that was my own, but never enough for me not to throw it out, again, and again, and again.
. years ago .
Present day: It's softer, warmer than it was before, but
Grey and...no light; need a room one day, that faces the sun again. but until then,
i will hold the sun within me.
==================================== Take care of yourselves everyone!
- Victoria