michel

Closing and opening every door.

(FULL SPOILERS FOR THE HOUSE IN FATA MORAGANA, A REQUIEM FOR INNOCENCE, AND REINCARNATION)

When I first discovered The House in Fata Morgana, it was after some late night, I was probably clocking out of Wendy's and getting ready to head home. Back around those times I was just getting into visual novels really, reading all of the greats! Eventually, with time, I was seeking something more "me," something gothic? I hadn't quite nailed what it meant to be myself yet, I was stumbling through life and I was at the lowest I probably ever felt, the loneliest, the most quiet. That lasted for a good few months after a certain incident, but those few months, every day, every shift, it became something larger.

Regardless, I had a choice at the time, it was either this gothic game called The House in Fata Moragana , or, well I don't remember the other choice at this point. But the person who helped me decide, just by theme alone, they chose The House in Fata Morgana. It was also intensely shortly after that in which everything would be silent for months and I wouldn't talk to that person for a long while.

So, already, my circumstances for the game seemed rather downtrodden...a girl, alone, working her heart out every day to gather the money to build the pieces of herself the others wouldn't help her with out of fear. It was she, me, who built up myself, who worked so tirelessly day and night, to build the image of myself despite everything. I probably won't talk about the exact details of the entire shift, of what I fought for and become, but it is essential to know the background to some degree.

Now, with that being said, with these visions of an uphill battle, being intensely lonely by not really having a friend at the time, what game fell into my lap afterwards? It was Fata Morgana.

My living room then was small, but cozy, it withstood battle after battle though, it wasn't a backdrop to anything too horrible, but more of a testament.

So, it was dark, I was about 10 feet away from the tv, it was late night, after yet another midnight shift at my job, I only worked those, getting out at 2 - 4 am almost every day, I almost never saw the sun, but I did see the water crash against a pier.

But, and I can't remember the night, maybe I didn't even clock out that night, but that game became a routine in the ensuing weeks following those years ago when that game first was booted up on my PS4.

I don't know what the temperature was then, but when I got my headphones and heard the music pour through, that iconic title screen...I knew, I knew it that I could love this.

Before anything though, I just want to bring up the incredibly important stained glass Screenshot 2025-08-26 061204 Screenshot 2025-08-26 061302 The one in the mansion...that Michel goes to stare out at from time to time. When I was in Philadelphia, I saw this huge stained glass window, I attached the photo above but it made me remember Fata Morgana again.

I have related to Michel for years now, I bought a wig years ago to cosplay him, and candles to guide my way through the dark like he does. At the time, he resonated so much with me, and...I went in blind, so blind, the reveal, the reveal that he was trans and that whole story, it...without exaggeration, that meant the world...I was so shocked, beyond shocked, I had tears, a lot of tears, which I always had issues mustering...and as soon as the chapter opened with his deadname, I was realizing what was happening.

It is done. so wonderfully...also I may or may not have grown my hair in a certain way once to mimic Michel's hair...it was fun! I already have long hair I loved it! I heehe,...I did wear that white wig at least once though. It was a nice one. I also love his modern design, not the reincarnation one but from the official artworks, he's literally me, and I am so happy so many other people can relate to him too and also be "literally him."

Uhm...I am getting too far ahead of myself though, I should go in order then discuss how emotional that was to me, and how it "opened every door."

Beginning the game: Prologue

Back then I would read VNs whilst walking or running on my treadmill, it became a way to get in some ready, expand my vernacular and stay engaged multitasking. I can still do that! It's just been a while.

Nevertheless, when I saw that intro...that amazing intro, wow. TO be specific, the dreams of the revenants version, as the original game's intro isn't very good and spoils several key plot points! Classic VN mistake.. ah but uhm,

I would quote it fairly often and still do sometimes; from morgana's prayer "o father," and the harshness of how she wishes to cast them all into damnation. That followed up with the seamless transition to gameplay, the lingering track for the intro (The House in Fata Morgana track is about 5 minutes long and usually loops until "The Maid.")

Michel's speech about Giselle though, that's a whole other topic but fuck, it still gets me, plus it's badass, plus I love michel, plus I would quote that to keep going, to keep getting the strength. I already harbored many of the morals Fata Morgana presents, but they will bolstered and aided my spirit during my worst time ever, reminding me that I am here, I am not alone. I always try to teach that to others if I can.

This I will all touch on later but the buildup upon all of this in a requiem for innocence is amazing, I LOVE a requiem for innocence.

Okay but again, I didn't play very far the first time I booted it...I got to the first door, and was at the very beginning with Nellie and Mell.

I tthink I left that save for a few days but continued, and then I continued and...for a good few weeks I read Fata Morgana.

Those first few weeks into my isolation though, with that game, reaffirming my morals, and granting me that warmth through the music, the dialogue, the art...it was wistful, it was painful, it was my everything.

I was engrossed in each chapter, my lights were off and heck, I sometimes just wanted to play it so badly that right after the treadmill, I'd still be covered in sweat, and just want to progress so badly. Each reveal, the music stings...gosh, wow. I have made multiple Fata Morgana playlists over the years...and it's just so nice to separate them.

I love every door, but the ones that resonated the most would be Door 3, and all of the latter half ones, obv door 7, Michel's door was probably the most.

8-26-2025, 6:35 AM TO BE CONTINUED