Gutter Strung Highway Snowstorm
Waking up after snowstorms....never been in one, only seen snow a few times in my life but I had a thought occur to me.
I got amazing news recently, an amazing promotion in record time, great! This is lovely and a big step forward for my career and embattlement of everything.
I was hit with an incongruous pang though.
I am just in the very very very very super early stages of planning something I never thought I'd do, but I'm going to do it. I love sharing my successes and hearing others, but I got this pang, that I wanted again, someone or something to come home to and engorge in the best and work through the worst. The best, meaning successes, the worst meaning hard times and stuff to work through, everything.
I know it's quite simple, but it's a symptom of the larger rot at play, this dwelling; even in all of its eccentric and quaint beauty.
I think about this a lot because I feel like a snowstorm fast approaching, i want to live in the sewer gutters where rain water gathers, and live outside the idea of the notion of not quite living but getting by, but instead living.
Braving snowstorms, I want blood to fill my mouth and I want to spit it out and feel the rot leave. This is a metaphor, there is no rot, there is just the betterment for another life lived, and for wonderful faces I'd like to rest my hand gently against, the people who will live throughout this and continue this life, the people may not be real, because they're me, I am real, I put my hand against my face to cradle myself and let it know everything will be okay.
Moving and shifting and success, and sailing through open ocean(s), and the final breath taken before the ideal; floating up and beyond the aether, a membrane which is supplemented by choosing to keep fighting.
I will not back down through the snowstorm, but it would be nice to brave it with others, and it is indeed happening.
Take care of yourself!
- Victoria