???/ Evening
(I'm conversing with myself,but no one has to read if they don't want to! Take care of yourself first. None of this as usual may make much sense but still! It is like a way to get motivation and walk through things.) 00:42 Hello...
... January...January
New semester beginning now...my A.S is within sight. Onto B.A.S.
Hey, can I talk to you for a second?
Or to be more apt, can I talk to me for a second? Sidebar! sidebar....
Victoria: I've been trying to sleep. I see it'll be raining soon.
I can feel rain all over my skin, but it is not there. A fluffy, smore like cat however is there.
My face hurts, muscle tension, diagnosis: A million hours of remediation.
But that's not fair...I love you.
887: I created myself here, I created the image of me within my own image outside of my own image.
Hey...this isn't like me at all..but that's okay. It was a cautionary story. Caution.
Digital forensics, I want you to dig inside of me, and rip it all out, and the little puncture wounds can turn into cities, which turn into pockets, which turn into cradles.
The end of a hallway, the corner of my head, there's nothing in particular about it, but...I would rather share a story for now.
Story: Personify, illustrate, exemplify, mirror...mirror....
...some many months ago.......
Even if it was a painful, secular, existence, something described it perfectly, like an orbit, it was genius. Trying to impress: nobody.
Never knew...every letter of the alphabet, and yet it was never known.
Tired eyes...Naked Eyes....
It was like an orbit, very small, elliptical, special, unique.
It's like I've lived an entire life before within the idea. Please... beaches....palm trees....every new word making my breathing heavier, woe betide the ocean's enemies.
I don't make much sense, but it makes Perfect Sense to me for now.
Please....
please......
I see leaves around me, I see them falling, I can physically feel it, I never liked therapy much personally, for me, I was not able to find a good fit, although I know what "I'm" really thinking.
"They're all worthless," is such a redundant, defeatist, nihilistic thought. I may be numb, but whatever part of me, the one I dub "887" thinks, is foolish in that regard.
It's not the right choice for everyone, but whatever works and heals, works. There's a secular reason you're having that thought 887, I know exactly why, and I can assure you it's going to be okay.
The ceiling can be explored much like the warmth of something resembling a human.
Like a cradle, and there's a cat laying on the bed too, a Cat In The Cradle, just ...don't forget the silver spoon!
Okay... mirror...mi..rr...or... error mirror rror e- mi- Era, a lifetime.
An entire reality?
No...a galaxy. Don't be so mean, 887, you're beautiful too.
Story: Stacking
Stacking...good evening!
Hi! Hello!
... ...
Please bite me.
Story:?
887: Hey wait I thought I only was gonna tell 1 story!
Nope, sorry
887: Okay...! Fine then...
Story: Sinew and ****
Sinew, sinewy rope! Long strands of rope as I go deeper...and deeper....
Yeah, there it is, it hurts...doesn't it?
A quintillion numbing agents poised in cannons, oh wait...those were duds! Goodness, be careful.
Wait.
If they were duds? Then why....?
I see now. ...I'm so sorry, please can I just hold you.
Or am I holding myself?
Victoria: Be careful! I'm here.
Story: My eyes.
It hurts, really, really, really bad, like physically painful to cry, like it is such an intense, acute pain, and then it goes away, like other pains.
Do not let this diminish it...do not take it lightly, do not let it ruin you.
887: Oh but why would that ruin me?
It has before, you should cry more.
887: I want to come home please...it just doesn't feel like it without you. Don't worry 887: Please.
"You don't deserve sympathy, but I am sorry." - Fatum Betula
887: I don't understand it...
It's okay, you don't have to.
You're looking outside of yourself, but doing so in a way that you think that's what's actually happening, you're right sometimes, but...also not, that's okay too.
887: When I die, will you please hold my hand?
You hold your own hands together in union, not a handshake, nor an agreement, but in remembrance.
887: You won't hold my hand?
I won't.
887:
887: I see.
887: That's fine...
Do you see a bench victoria?
887: That's not me.
Sure it isn't.
Story: Bench, leave/leaf/left/left/left
Left, "I left something behind."
Left, "I'm left handed"
Left, "I'm so terribly sorry for leaving someone behind."
Leaf, "Green and lovely, or orange and crisp, or white and fading...anything, all pretty."
Leave, "I want you to please leave."
887: I like to use that last one. It gives me so much power when people try to overpower me, they're dumbfounded that I won't listen to them, that I won't give in to them, that I won't submit, I won't ever submit.
"Submit" wait...just like the infamous torture scene from metal gear solid 1!?!??
887: Huh...what.?
Yes, they lose power that way, do you think yourself the "winner."
887: Objectively speaking, of course not, subjectively? Absolutely. They all need help, serious help, why would I or anyone demonize them?
That's not 887 talking...but that's okay too.
Get some rest, good luck.
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Wow blehh I am tired, goodness gracious.
The moon, the stars, the wind, and most definitely the ocean, could you lay down with me for a little bit?
Bonus...hidden story?: Blood Moon
... ... ... ... ... Tangled, but the warmth is worth it.
Thank you, so very much.